79 Funny Love Quotes For Wife: Tested and Approved

The majority of married couples will tell you that love, loyalty, and respect are important. But there's another key ingredient that often gets overlooked: a good sense of humor. Being able to laugh with (and sometimes at) your spouse can make all the difference when life throws curveballs your way.

That's why we've rounded up 85 Funny Love Quotes For Wife that are guaranteed to tickle your humorous bone. These gems capture it all - the good, the bad, and the downright silly aspects of married life. We bet you'll find yourself nodding along and chuckling in agreement.

Let's start with some sweet and silly quotes that'll make your wife smile:

1. "I married for love but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored." — Cameron Esposito

This quote hilariously points out one of the unexpected perks of marriage.

2. "Before you got married, you were madly in love with each other. Now you will be mad at each other as well."

A playful take on how emotions evolve in marriage.

3. "If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say, 'Now you're super mad!' If they laugh, marry them."

This cute advice humorously suggests a creative way to diffuse tension.

4. "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." — Winston Churchill

Even great leaders know the true value of a good marriage!

5. "The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'"

Sometimes, the key to marital bliss is as simple as pitching in with chores.

6. "One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes, I'm like, 'Why are you in here?' And he's like, 'I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?'" — Michelle Obama

Even the Obamas know the importance of personal space in marriage!

7. "Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: You have to start over again every morning." — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A humorous reminder that marriage requires daily effort.

8. "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." — Stephanie Ortiz

This quote perfectly captures the playful battles many couples face.

9. "A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal."

A sweet and funny way to look at marital satisfaction.

10. "In my house, I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision-maker." — Woody Allen

A classic quip about who really wears the pants in a marriage.

11. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." — Rita Rudner

Rudner humorously sums up the essence of marital commitment.

12. "Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other's minimum daily requirements." — Kathy Mohnke

A clever comparison between marriage and nutrition.

13. "Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day." — Mickey Rooney

Rooney offers some hilariously practical wedding advice.

14. "Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep." — Unknown

A playful jab that many wives will relate to.

15. "And do you solemnly swear to protect me from spiders as long as we both shall live?" — Unknown

This quote humorously adds to traditional wedding vows, highlighting the everyday heroics of marriage.

These quotes capture the lighter side of marriage, reminding us that a good laugh can often be the secret ingredient to a happy relationship. Share these with your wife and enjoy the giggles together!

Sometimes, a little playful sarcasm is just what you need to keep the spark alive. Here are 12 quotes that walk that fine line between teasing and affection

1. "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." — Erma Bombeck

Bombeck's wit reminds us that marriage, unlike appliances, doesn't come with a warranty.

2. "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." — Socrates

Even ancient philosophers knew the transformative power of marriage!

3. "We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse." — Henry Youngman

A classic self-deprecating joke that's sure to get a chuckle.

4. "Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight." — Phyllis Diller

Diller offers some humorously practical advice for lasting marital bliss.

5. "Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them." — Ogden Nash

A witty observation about the often complementary nature of spouses.

6. "Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them." — Unknown

A reminder to husbands everywhere to tread carefully when it comes to jokes.

7. "All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble." — Raymond Hull

Hull hilariously points out the difference between the wedding and the marriage.

8. "I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" — Jean Illsley Clarke

A funny way to express both unconditional love and mild exasperation.

9. "Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it." — Phyllis Schlafly

Schlafly offers a unique and somewhat cheeky metaphor for marriage.

10. "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." — Henny Youngman

Youngman's classic joke about the secret to a long marriage never gets old.

11. "Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband."

A playful jab at the dynamics of marital disagreements.

12. "My wife had us register for fine china. Because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a $200 plate." — Jim Gaffigan

Gaffigan hilariously highlights the sometimes impractical nature of wedding registries.

These Funny Love Quotes For Wife capture the funny, frustrating, and fantastic moments that make up married life:

1. "When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." — Helen Rowland

Rowland's observation about married body language is amusingly accurate.

2. "To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." — Ogden Nash

Nash offers some humorously sage advice for marital harmony.

3. "Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now I have six children and no theories." — John Wilmot

A funny reminder that marriage and parenthood often upend our expectations.

4. "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?" — Groucho Marx

Marx's wordplay perfectly captures the duality of married life.

5. "I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it." — Lyndon B. Johnson

Even presidents need a sense of humor about marriage!

6. "After about 15 years I finally figured out that she's always right. So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that." — Barack Obama

Obama's self-deprecating humor shows that even the most powerful men defer to their wives.

7. "A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished." — Zsa Zsa Gabor

Gabor's quip plays on the double meaning of "finished" to hilarious effect.

8. "Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park." — Unknown

A succinct and funny comparison that many married couples might relate to.

9. "I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too—for being married so many times." — Elizabeth Taylor

Taylor pokes fun at her own numerous marriages with this clever wordplay.

10. "Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age—as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight." — Phyllis Diller

Diller offers more humorous and practical marital advice.

11. "Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you." — Megan Mullally

Mullally humorously emphasizes the importance of communication in marriage.

12. "Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open." — George Bernard Shaw

Shaw's quote hilariously highlights how opposites often attract in marriage.

13. "When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." — Prince Philip

The late Prince Philip was known for his dry wit about married life.

14. "Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit." — Billy Connolly

Connolly humorously compares marriage to another useful, but sometimes frustrating, invention.

15. "I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." — Rita Rudner

Rudner's joke about marriage preparation is both funny and oddly insightful.

16. "Being married means mostly shouting, 'What?' from other rooms." — Unknown

A relatable and amusing observation about day-to-day married life.

17. "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." — Milton Berle

Berle's quote is a clever twist on the typical "wife is always right" jokes.

18. "Your wife won't start an argument with you if you're cleaning." — Unknown

A humorous piece of advice that might just save some marriages!

Sometimes, the best way to express love is through the words of our favorite characters. Here are 10 funny love quotes from TV and movies that your wife will appreciate:

1. "She makes the bass drop...in my heart." - Jason, The Good Place

A modern, musical way of expressing love that's both sweet and silly.

2. "Swoon. I'll catch you." - Almásy, The English Patient

A short but charming quote that playfully combines romance and humor.

3. "You're the girl of my dreams, and apparently, I'm the man of yours." - Henry, 50 First Dates

A cute line that acknowledges the reciprocal nature of love in a funny way.

4. "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while." - The Princess Bride

A humorously dramatic declaration of eternal love from a beloved classic.

5. "I love you, I knew it the minute I met you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up, I just got stuck." - Pat, Silver Linings Playbook

A relatable and funny way to admit to being slow on the uptake in love.

6. "She's your lobster. Come on, you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples, walking around their tank, you know, holding claws." - Phoebe, Friends

Phoebe's unique perspective on love is both hilarious and oddly touching.

7. "I love you and I like you." - Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation

A simple but powerful sentiment that captures the essence of a good marriage.

8. "As you wish." - The Princess Bride

Another classic from The Princess Bride that's both romantic and amusing in its understatement.

9. "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." - Anna Scott, Notting Hill

A famous quote that's both vulnerable and slightly absurd in its simplicity.

10. "To me, you are perfect." - Mark, Love Actually

A sweet declaration made funnier by the context of the scene in the movie.

Sometimes, the professionals say it best. Here are 14 Funny Love Quotes For Wife from comedians and celebrities.

1. "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner

Rudner perfectly captures the special blend of love and irritation in marriage.

2. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are." - Will Ferrell

Ferrell offers a modern and hilarious test of compatibility.

3. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield

Dangerfield's self-deprecating humor is perfect for poking fun at married life.

4. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?" - George Carlin

Carlin's wordplay highlights the weight of wedding vows in a clever way.

5. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." - Pete, Knocked Up

A pop culture reference that humorously compares real marriage to sitcom marriage.

6. "My wife and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; mur.der, yes, but divorce, never." - Jack Benny

Benny's dark humor underscores the permanence of marriage.

7. "There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again." - Clint Eastwood

Eastwood pokes fun at both marriage and his own romantic history.

8. "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman

Youngman's quip acknowledges the mysterious nature of marital bliss.

9. "I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it." - Elizabeth Evans

A funny quote for couples who share a caffeine addiction.

10. "Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing." - Natasha Leggero

Leggero offers a modern and hilarious take on honesty in relationships.

11. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." - Charles M. Schulz

Schulz combines romance and practicality in this sweet and funny quote.

12. "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" - Lily Tomlin

Tomlin's quote is perfect for those moments when love feels complicated.

13. "Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there." - George Burns

Burns offers a funny and oddly accurate metaphor for love.

14. "I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Gabor's quip reminds us that some marital issues transcend all ideologies.

Marriage: a rollercoaster of emotions, challenges, and yes, plenty of laughs. These 79 Funny Love Quotes For Wife prove that humor is the secret sauce in any lasting relationship.

From witty jabs to nerdy puns, we've covered it all. Why? Because sometimes, a well-timed joke is worth a thousand "I love you"s.

Think about it. When was the last time you and your wife had a good laugh together? Was it over a shared inside joke? Or maybe it was about that time you tried to fix the sink and ended up flooding the bathroom?

So, what now? Simple. Use these quotes. Surprise your wife with a funny text. Leave a silly note on the fridge. Whisper a corny pun during movie night.

At the end of the day, a marriage filled with laughter is one that can handle anything life throws at it. Disagreements? Laugh it off. Challenges? Face them with a grin.

Choose to laugh together. Every Single Day.